For the first time since October of 2011 I have a ct scan that shows no sign of disease progression. Phew! (There was disease reduction but it is unclear if that was active cancer or dead tumor dissolving.) Stability is the name of the game.
If I can stay this way for two more four-week cycles of weekly Taxol, I would graduate March 14th, have my next ct scan on March 25th (aka my birthday) and head to UPenn starting the first week of April.
Many, many ifs but many fewer then we have hurdled over in the last 18 months!
I am a little numb after an intense weekend retreat on the topic of cancer, the test and the mind-fucking countdown to test results. But after a night of rest, it will be a good time to party.
I share a photo of an imposing wood carving entitled Princess Warrior that is a museum quality wood carving on loan to me from a dear friend who showed up with it one day. Her partner died in less than six month’s time of stomach cancer in 2008. He had left a great job to become a self taught master woodcarver despite the calling offering less pay and no health benefits. He died content with his choices. Princess Warrior was charged to protect me. I feel protected by my beloved partner, my friendship,political and family circles and now this defiant art. (Let alone the swaying prayer flags of love).
2013 is the year I intend to move my cancer from center stage to being just another strong character among many in my life. Towards that end I am thrilled to be heading to Texas in early March to train up the (first ever) convening of national anti-fracking leaders on rural organizing!
I don’t hate my cancer but I have resented deeply the way it has narrowed the scale of my world and activities. But watch out! In December I coordinated a salon on the privatization of mail services. I am back doing more regular support planning with the great gals that keep ROP vibrant. And I am thrilled that my first trek to UPenn is actually bookended on to an existing NYC meeting set up to better understand the work of the ROP. Sarah Loose and I continue to plod forward on our organizing manual. And much more.
I may move the body slowly, focus the brain with increased effort but I am alive in this world and enjoying that gift.
Thank you! xo marcy